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Gotenks

[UnfreakinBelievable]



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(since 02-11-2014 10:14)
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Location: ibiza

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Post Posted: 05-08-2007, 22:29:21 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Badala lui Mihai Viteazul

Cum a fost cu adevarat...
Naratorul: Oastea otomana vrea sa intre-n tara,
Unii n-aveau viza si-au ramas pe-afara;
Dar Mihai Viteazul, cum a prins de stire
Pleca sa-si adune brava lui ostire!
Mihai: Pircalabe Voinea... scoal' ca te plesnesc!
Unde sunt Buzestii?
Voinea: Pai, stai sa ma gandesc...
Stroe e la bingo, Preda e la meci,
Radu-i beat manga, da la ratze-n beci.
Mihai: Du-te si aduna-i cum ti-am ordonat,
Turcii dau navala, suntem in rahat!
Naratorul: Oastea se aduna din munti si paduri,
Jumatate-s crita, restul sunt mahmuri.
Cu manie surda Voda ii priveste
Si prin portavoce astfel le vorbeste:
Mihai: Bai armata... a 14 a,
Hal de bravi eroi,
Asta e tinuta?!?
Ce e ma pe voi?
Ia uite, ala-si sufla m**a in caciula!
Vezi sa nu te-mpiedici, c-ai sa cazi in p... cap!
Uite care-i smenu, de ce v-am chemat:
Turcii vor in freza, nu s-au saturat.
Luati aminte bine, e si 43,
La si 51 casunati pe ei!
Mihai over.
Naratorul: Oastea otomana s-a oprit deodata,
Caci in fata-i voda, cu a lui armata.
Sultanul: Te-ai tampit ghiaure, calea de ne-o tii:
Suntem doua sute patruzeci de mii!
Mihai: Ei, part...
Sultanul: Si-ai sa-mi papi turbanu'
N-ai decat trei sute!...
Mihai: Trei sute, da' rai!
Sultanul: Rai!!...
Mihai: Ala, de exemplu, se numeste Ghita,
A taiat pe ma-sa, ca nu-i da halvita.
Cei din Atlantida ne-au amenintat:
L-am trimis pe Ghita si i-a scufundat.
Si acum trei zile a fost in Vietnam.
Sultanul: Vietnam nu exista!
Mihai: Pai eu ce ziceam!
Sultanul: Mama, i-a taiat pe toti!
Mihai: Alalalt e Mitu,
Mananca spahii.
Sultanul: Spaghete mananca!...
Mihai: Cati ai tu acolo nu-i ajung o zi.
Sultanul: Nu-i ajung ca n-am ketchup!
Mihai: Insa cel mai tare si cu brat de fier
E Preda Buzescu, bravul meu boier!
Sultanul: Daca-i asa tare precum zici mata,
Pune-l sa se bata cu Mehmet Aga!
Daca-nvinge-al vostru, fac stanga-mprejur,
Daca nu, va prindem si v-o trag la c... moaci.
Mihai: Au, moaca mea!
Naratorul: Turcu scoate-o drujba.
(Pe semne uitase
Ca benzina inca
Nu se inventase!)
Preda ca un ninja intr-o pluta sare,
Scuipandu-l pe turc intre felinare.
Turcu' lua cutitul si urcand pe pluta,
Scrijeli "Hai LIBI AMR 100".
Preda-i sare-n carca
Se trantesc prin iarba.
Turcu: Ba, trait-ar mata
Nu ma lua de barba!
Preda: Du-te ba-n fasole, de spahiu borat
Nu face cu dosu, ca ti-l bag pe gat!
Naratorul: Ei se bat de-o ora si nu se razbesc;
Voda si sultanul se cam plictisesc
Si o pun de-o tabla sus pe o caruta
Turci si ghiaurii o pun de-o miuta.
Mihai: Ia zi, mai sultane, vii din Istambul;
Care mai e pretul, vreau sa-mi iau un ghiul!...
Sultanul: Trimite-ti nevasta si-ti aduce-o suta
Nu trebuie sa ceara, ci doar sa se f... plimbe!
Noi luam prin razboaie aur de la voi
Si-ale voastre fete il aduc inapoi.
Noi luptam cu mana, ele din picioare
Si astfel prospera ambele popoare!
Naratorul: Ei il vad pe Preda cum paseste-incet
Tinand in stanga capul lui Mehmet...
Sultanul: Ai invins, ghiaure!?!
Preda: Doar din intamplare.
Si-a luat singur gatul
C-a facut prinsoare:
Eu i-am zis ca-i ***,
Dansul a negat;
Mi-am dat jos nadragii
Si n-a rezistat!
Si acum ma cam doare...
Mihai: E un gest frumos
Pentru tara sfanta
Sa te doara-n dos!
Pleaca, dar, sultane;
Loc de tine nu e.
Ca va taiem capul
Si va dam si m.... palme!
Du-te la ostire,
Spune ca ghiauru;
S-a batut cu turcu'
Si l-a-nvins cu c.. spada



Last edited by Gotenks on 05-08-2007, 22:30:36; edited 1 time in total
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In2ition

[Globul de cristal]



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Post Posted: 05-08-2007, 22:30:25 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

YosPepy wrote:
La un proces foarte plictisitor la care toata lumea dormea, un betiv ii spune la judecator:
-Don`le sa ma pupi in c**
La care judecatoru:
-Afara!
Betivul:
-Nu, aici sa vada toata lumea

-

era cu altceva -


We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they're inside of us.

nr913 wrote:
no really, dacã nu era așa țãrancã, și dacã era în bucurești, o luam de nevastã

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liq

[FC OÞELUL GALAÞI]



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(since 27-09-2017 19:00)
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Post Posted: 05-08-2007, 22:56:02 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Femeia este cel mai fiabil motor (1 cilindru in V): - se adapteaza la orice piston - se lubrifiaza singura - o data pe luna isi schimba uleiul - un plin ii ajunge 9 luni - functioneaza in orice pozitie - se poate porni cu un singur deget -_^

Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education
dr. Martin Luther King jr.
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blader

[Madness?]



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(since 05-01-2016 15:32)
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Post Posted: 06-08-2007, 23:00:24 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Mamico, ce faci goala pe taticu?
- Sar pe el ca sa-i dezumflu burta…
- Te obosesti de pomana! In fiecare dimineata, matusa ingenuncheaza si i-o umfla la loc



Dereglat, ca un ceas antic.
Exile the Ninja wrote:
In2ition , esti un carnat afumat. Ada' slanina aici si o felie de pita, te mananc ba.

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PKK

[Mentally Stable]



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Post Posted: 06-08-2007, 23:13:20 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

pai ce aveti cu turcii -


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Levier
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 01:09:17 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

liquidz0r wrote:
Sechestrarea unui retardat -) legat de copac in fata blocului -) cu un cablu de la net -)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7VpEj6zYRLY:



retardati sunt aia care l-au legat.

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PKK

[Mentally Stable]



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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 01:17:13 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nTbL5elVXrU:




https://youtube.com/watch?v=lth8Txb8Rmc:




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Kre@toR

[Assasin]



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(since 15-06-2022 22:19)
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 08:56:37 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Ce tare e ultima -


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Makaveli_Don

[Mentally Stable]



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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 09:10:34 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Car alarm
https://youtube.com/watch?v=K2IDImv83rs:




*** Witta Attitude
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RockeT
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 09:36:26 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

- good, sunt de acord ce-a mai buna alarma --
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Kre@toR

[Assasin]



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(since 15-06-2022 22:19)
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 09:58:24 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Tare -)


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Makaveli_Don

[Mentally Stable]



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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 10:07:41 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

Isn`t that PRICELESS??? -


Verificativa alcoolemia inainte sa va urcati la volan -
http://www.alcooltest.ro/calculator1.php



*** Witta Attitude
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RockeT
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 12:40:21 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

De cand se mananca si sticlele? LoL ceva nou am sa incerc si eu..crek asta e felul 4 de la pranz -
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Gotenks

[UnfreakinBelievable]



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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 15:06:36 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

PKK wrote:
pai ce aveti cu turcii -


Nu avem nimica man -

Dar e misto poezia -

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Creator
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Post Posted: 07-08-2007, 15:08:54 | Translate post to: ... (Click for more languages)

makaveli_don ca tare e aia -

doamneee nu mai pot de ras


Mesaj pt. codatzi: Asa vetzi ramane in consola iar eu va voi face asa de pe server >>
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